How big of a house do you have??

This is a question that I am almost always asked after people find out we have 10 children, followed by a string of other questions:

 Boy, you’ve got your hands full, don’t you?
Don’t you know what causes that?
Are those ALL your kids?
But you’re stopping now, right?
Don’t you have a TV?
"Don't you think there's enough people in the world?"
"I could never do that, my (one two whatever) make me totally crazy!" (usually right in front of their children)

Some questions are just ignorant, such as “Don’t you know what causes that?” Um, yeah we do. “Don’t you have a TV?” Yeah, but if you think sex on tv is better then your doing it all wrong! These question seriously don’t even deserve an answer but the questions about finances make sense. 

I can remember only having one child and I met a mom expecting her *gasp* 4th baby! I asked her all sorts of questions about kids sharing rooms, how they afford that many kids, and of course I also wondered why they had that many. 

Here we are 20 years later, after Duane and I decided we only wanted one child, we are the ones getting these questions and comments. God certainly has a sense of humor and I love it!

Our children all share rooms and years ago when we were going to do an addition we were still only going to have two bedrooms for the kids; a girl's dorm and a boy's dorm.  We love the idea of our children sharing rooms! They are creating memories! They whisper, laugh, tell stories, and share secrets together. In the boy's room they also do lots of goofing off together! We feel that sharing a room is cultivating sibling closeness and it also teaches them to be selfless. One day when they are married they will already know what it means to be other centered. (and share closet space!)

We have made what some people consider “sacrifices” financially and maybe they are according to the world, but we are not of this world nor should our mentality towards children be of this world. Anything we may have “sacrificed” financially has been given back to us ten fold in the joy and happiness of having a large family. We may not drive the newest vehicle (though I don’t think the back seat would be big enough for us!) and may not have the biggest house (less to clean!) but the laughter in these walls is loud, very loud! Every child we have makes our happy all the louder! 

God’s word tells us that children are His greatest blessing and reward. His word also says “I have been young, and [now] am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his children begging for bread.” Psalm 37:25. I am genuinely sad when I talk with people that chose or are choosing to not have more children based on finances. It truly grieves me and I can only imagine how God’s heart feels about this. To most of the people who are passed child bearing age and wanted more they live with such deep regret and it’s to late. My heart hurts for what they missed out on in life.

We are a modest single income family. We have simply made the choice to trust the Lord and His word when it comes to whether or not we have a child. How many people do you know that if they were offered more money, no matter how much they already made, would turn it down and say, “No thanks. We have plenty, we don’t need to be blessed anymore.” I’ve never heard anyone do that but yet our society, including Christians, does this on a regular basis when it comes to children. The pendulum has swung so far from the time when people wanted, desired, and prayed for more children. With that shift society has not improved, but drastically declined. Connection? I’m not sure.

Money is a temporal thing, and yes I know we need it to live in this life, but basing how many children (living souls who will dwell with you for eternity) you will have on money is not scriptural. We are  to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5” If the Lord has given you the desire for another child then trust Him and take Him at His word, that He will meet your every need. It may not be up to the standards of this world, but when your happy is extra loud you won’t hear the world’s voices anyway.

Children are a gift from the LORD; 

they are a reward from him. 

Psalm 127:3