Jeff and Shyloh

It recently came to my attention that I have mentioned the name "Jeff" in some of my posts and for those who live close to us they have seen Jeff around our family quite a bit and around Shyloh almost all the time. I thought I should probably say a bit about him.

Jeff is a great guy that Shyloh met a few months ago. She met him at church in the College and Career group she has been going to. Their story is "long" but yet has transpired rather quickly. I will just give you the abridged version. After becoming great friends, Shyloh and Jeff realized that they had much deeper feelings for each other. Shyloh has always had some very high standards and convictions when it comes to her relationships with guys. When they became friends so quickly Duane and I knew that there was going to be more to their friendship. Our family has chosen to take a path less traveled and not do the typical "dating" route. Shyloh has taken that even further in her beliefs.

When Shyloh and Jeff talked about the feelings that they had for one another she explained to him that she didn't date and explained our feelings and also explained that our family has chosen "courtship" instead. I'm sure that may raise another question of what is courtship? There are many thoughts, ideas, and definitions that go with that word. This is new, unchartered territory for us, and Duane a I are constantly in prayer over this. We also know that this is not a "one size fits all". What it may look like for Jeff and Shyloh may be very different for how it will look for our other children. For us, we wouldn't allow our children to even enter into a courtship until we felt that they were even ready to consider marriage. Courtship is a serious time to get to know one another and to really pray about whether or not they could see this person as their life partner. They would not even enter into a courtship with a person until they knew that person enough and felt like this person was someone that they could fall in love with and marry. We don't want our children out just entering into relationships casually. It is also very family centered. Jeff is here almost daily. We want to get to know him also, and pray and discern what the Lord's will is for them. Our goal is to guard our children's hearts and this is not something that we are taking lightly at all. We are very serious about this. When our children stand at the alter before their future spouses we want them to be able to give their whole hearts to that person. We don't want their hearts to be scarred or hurt and carry memories from other relationships.

After Jeff and Shyloh talked about the feelings they had for each other they both prayed about when that next step in their friendship should happen. Duane and I were of course covering their relationship in much prayer too. Jeff came over one Saturday when the girls and I were at a baby shower and spoke with Duane about Shyloh. He asked permission to enter into a courtship with Shyloh with the mindset of spending time with her and seeking the Lord as to whether they will one day take it the next step of marriage.

Duane and I feel very blessed to have Jeff around our family. He is a wonderful, godly guy, who is so very honoring towards Shyloh and her heart. He has a passionate heart towards the Lord. Shyloh thinks he is just "amazing". That is the word she uses every time she talks about him! Duane and I are constantly keeping their relationship in prayer as I know they are too. They are going to spend this next season growing together and in the Lord. Their prayers have now changed from "should I get to know this person better" to "Lord, is this the person that you would have me spend the rest of my life with?"

When you think of Shyloh please keep this next season of her life in your prayers. We have all grown to love Jeff in a very short amount of time and we all think he is a very special guy. I feel blessed as a mother so see my daughter with someone who has such a heart for her and for the Lord. Jeff is an incredible role model for my little guys who are at such an impressionable stage in life. Poppet and Lolly are completely smitten with him and argue over "who's Jeff" he is. The older girls are getting to see what a courtship looks like and will have a wonderful standard in their minds when they get older and enter into their own relationships with someone. Of course Jeff is making that standard very high for them! Duane has many mixed emotions as he is watching his little girl transfer her affections to Jeff. Duane was "the amazing guy" in her life and that is now changing a bit. We know she will always be "daddy's little girl" but if Jeff becomes a permanent part of her life it will be Jeff who takes over that role of "hanging the moon". Duane completely enjoys having Jeff around. He enjoys having someone who knows football!

There it is for those wondering! As I already said, please keep Jeff and Shyloh in your prayers when you think of them, that their relationship will be founded in the Lord and that they will discern His good and perfect will for them and their lives.