Random update from Neyville

I really can't believe that tomorrow is March already. These first two months of the year have just sped by. There hasn't been a lot of time to sit and type out my thoughts, but then again it seems like my mind isn't swirling with thoughts, so maybe this is good. Since I am sitting here in a quiet house, with everyone in bed I thought I would update.

Duane started a new route this week which has him getting off and being home around lunchtime. We are all getting used to this and trying to get up earlier to have things done before he comes home. No one wants school or chores lingering over their heads when Daddy comes home!  The biggest change with his route is that he is going from working four days a week to five. He has been on four tens for years and we have loved having him home every Friday. It was always kind of like a mini vacation. We will adapt and hopefully learn to love this route the same.

Sweet Blessing turned 6 months old yesterday! She is such a delight for everyone who is around her. She really is living up to her name. Who would have thought that there was such power in the names we choose for our children?

Our busy little toddlers are into everything these days. Even with two sets of parents around and many brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles, these two can run us all in circles. Do not be deceived from the sweet way that they are sitting here that they are quiet and calm! We don’t need any other entertainment with these little guys! I think we all sleep good after a day spent together!

I found this sweet note folded up and taped tightly shut when I was cleaning in my room the other day. I guess Poppet had set it up to surprise me but it got buried on my dresser. I smiled and wanted to cry all at once. I was reminded that not only did I want my baby to live but so did my children. I am still sorting my thoughts and emotions, but healing is here. It takes time. I don’t find myself thinking about my baby daily anymore, but you never forget. I should have a belly that is full of life, but that was not the Lord’s plan. I pray that He sees fit to bless us again in His perfect timing. Until then my arms are full of life with the children I do have. I’m blessed beyond words.

Shayden, Shannen, and Shadd are gearing up for Science Olympiad this Saturday. They have diligently been working on a mousetrap car and helicopter. I am amazed at the genius inside these guys! They are getting a chance to be challenged and create some wonderful little masterpieces.

Shadd has had his braces on for several months now and the results are amazing. On his next visit he will get his expander off. He is so excited over this!

Our three little ladies are growing. Poppet daily announces how many more days until her birthday gets here! She is going to squeal with excitement tomorrow morning when the calendar is turned to March. The girls love to help in the kitchen whenever they can. Today they helped make rolls for dinner. They were the best rolls I’ve ever tasted.

It looks like Shelbie will be leaving for Zambia on April 6th. No one is ready for this. As each day passes we dread it more. Six months feels like forever.  As Shyloh once said, “We may want her here, but they need her.” I still remember that little girl waking up all excited and telling me her dreams of being with little children in Africa. She will once again be living out that dream. The mama part of me continually wrestles with God over this, but deep inside I know that she really is needed over there. Those children that she will hold and love on will actually be held and loved by the arms of God. Shelbie is just the vessel that He is using.

I think I covered all of Neyville here. Our little corner of the world may seem quiet at times in blogland, but it’s really not. It is full of life, noisy and thunderous, happy and sometimes sad. We work hard and play loud over here and I love it!

Why I Do It

“I hate homeschooling!”, came the ugly words from my mouth as I scampered around trying to collect all the school samples that I had to turn into our counselor at our meeting the next morning.  Why do I do this to myself? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just put them all in school?

So why do I do this? I may have my down days and feel like I’m deep in the trenches. I may stress over children knowing math facts, or spelling properly and the thought of having to help with algebra is enough to make me cry, but yet here I am, going on 18 years of homeschooling.

When we started out we made a list of why we were choosing to go down this path that wasn’t so well beaten back then. We were odd in the sight of many and they questioned if we were sane or not. Sometimes I question if I’m sane for doing this! lol On those days when I’m questioning my sanity and feeling overwhelmed I think back to my list. These are only but a few of the many reasons we chose to home school.

~Character is not what you do in front of people, but what you do when you think no one is watching~

Is it enough that my children can read, write, and know their math facts? No. Education is so much more than just academics. It is mainly a matter of character development.  Here at home I have the privilege of teaching and training their character. Self-discipline seems lost with today’s youth, but it is needed in every area of their lives. Patience, gentleness, kindness have many chances to be practiced here at home with the people who stretch you most in these areas.

Do I want my children simply to be nice, well-behaved, and safe from peer pressure? Not at all! I want them to be men and women of integrity, not conformity. It isn’t enough for them to be polished and pretty on the outside but yet be dirty on the inside.

Neither academics, nor character, nor how polished they look on the outside will matter if they are dead in their sins and separated from God. I want my children to love the Lord with all their hearts, minds, and souls! I want them to shake the very gates of hell as they go out and boldly tell the world of the saving grace of the cross! Will public school help us in our effort to see these things come to fruition in our children's life? We think not.

God placed the responsibility for child training and our children’s education on us. This is not a task for the weak or the wimpy, of which I many times feel I am. It is a job we take serious, one that we are blessed to have been given. We don’t want mediocre for our children’s live, we want God’s very best. Homeschooling for us, is one of the vehicles God is using as we aim for the highest the Lord has for our children.

As I gear up, plan, and prepare for yet another year of homeschooling I am pondering over the reasons we do what we do. I need to remember these things. It serves to help me keep my eye on the goal. Not my goal, but His goal for my children.

Multitude Monday

1131. Candlelight dinner with my favorite people=LOVE

1132. Fajitas….Mmmm1133.  Banners of love

1134. Patio planning with Shyloh1135. Best buddies chillin   

1136. Holding my husbands hand. 24 years later and I still love it.1137. Chicken watching

1138.  Happy news of a visit with Nana soon 1139.  My man making dinner

1140. The love of our God, who showed His love with the ultimate sacrifice!  We are blessed and so very loved!  

He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.  

Song of Songs 2:4

Valentines Day

Many years ago Duane and I got tired of  battling the crowds on Valentines Day. Instead we opted to stay home with our favorite people in the world!  Duane declared this as one of his two dinner nights. (The other being Mother’s Day). This tradition is one that we all look forward to.

The night before I stayed up and hung up some decorations. When I woke the next morning someone or someone’s had been up in the wee hours decorating. Shadd, Poppet, and Lolly had woken up about two in the morning and hung up some sweet decorations and left valentine cards under all our pillows.

Duane made fajitas that we all voted were better than any restaurant! We lingered around the table talking after dinner was done.  We all enjoyed the evening and now have another memory to add to the book of memories we are creating.

I’m going to miss it when all my children are grown and off enjoying Valentine’s Day with their spouses. Maybe we’ll be lingering around the table with grandchildren instead.

Shylie patiently waiting for dinner  My Captain America making dinner Table for two, please!   Blessing does NOT like the flash. lol A tablefull of the best kind of love there is!  

No One Else Loves You More

The Truth about Vaccines

The topic of vaccines and their safety can be very controversial. This is an amazing video, one that you won't be sorry to make the time to watch. It is our job as parents to be informed and to know the truth about vaccines and so many diseases our country faces.

Multitude Monday

1121. Sweet Blessing

1122. Bonfires with friends

1123. Work routes and changes1124.  A date with my favorite 7 year old

1125. Long talks with my Shaylah

1126. The smell of fresh mowed grass1127. My little guy cleaning up his toys…then dumping them out…then cleaning them up…then dumping them out…

1128. Little ladies and picnics

1129. Food color and lessons learned1130. Good reports from the dentist

  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  

I Corinthians 13:13

A Blue Heart

They came walking out, her carrying her bright, food color infused ice-cream cone, and him grinning at the thought  of what Mama is thinking right now.

She had earned an ice-cream cone in a deal made with Mama to catch up on some school work that fell by the wayside during the crazy month January was. She was smiling ear to ear as she carried her prize out. I, on the other hand couldn’t believe my eyes! FOOD COLOR! EEK! For those who know me this is one of the five no no’s in Neyville. She knows this as did her Daddy so how is it she came out with “that” flavor ice-cream?

As we drove down the road to Wal-Mart, I rambled the entire time about how bad food color is for you and all the different diseases it is linked to. By the time we got out of the car her excitement was gone.  “I don’t want to eat this anymore!”, she said. In that moment I wished that I could take back the forest fire of words that destroyed her happiness.

We all went into Wal-Mart, Shelbie and I went one direction with Daddy and Poppet going another.  A few minutes later we joined back up and Poppet was ice-creamless. She had made the decision to throw her much deserved cone away.  I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that once again I had blown it in my mothering. 

As we walked thru the store I reached for her hand and apologized and she sweetly accepted.  I couldn’t shake that awful feeling even with the promise of non food color ice-cream at home and the toy she picked out in the clearance isle.  It was too late. In that moment of my spewing large facts on the dangers of food color I stole joy from my little girls heart. You can’t replace that.  I was so focused on some blue on her tongue that I didn’t see the red flame coming off of mine.

In the big picture a scoop of color should never have taken precedence over my little girls heart. There are no do-overs but once this Mama has learned the hard way about guarding my tongue. Words are so little but yet so big.

We went back today for blue ice-cream because there is something more important than the dangers of food color….relationships.

We walked in and I ordered a scoop of cotton candy ice-cream and Poppet sweetly looked up at me and said, “I would rather not have that kind Mama. I didn’t actually want it yesterday. I told the lady cookie dough please, but she didn’t hear me and gave me a scoop of cotton candy. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.” Ahh, my little girl knows how to guard someone's heart more than her Mama did.  My children teach me well.

We enjoyed a lovely, food colorless, cup of cookie dough ice-cream together.  Best ice-cream I’ve ever had!

Things that make me smile

     High hide time with sister!

What not to say

Before I ever walked the road of miscarriage I would never know how to comfort a friend who had experienced a loss. What do you say? There is no pat answer to that question as we each respond differently to losing a baby, but I can tell you what not to say.

Please do not say, “At least you have _____ other children.”  It doesn’t matter how many other children I have because there is still a hole in my heart from the one I will never be able to hold. If one of my ten children was taken in a car accident would you say, “At least you have nine other children”? Each child is a special blessing and one does not fill the place of another. Baby number 11 was as special to us as baby number 1 was.

Please do not say, “at least you have children, some women do not.” My heart goes out to those who have not had a baby but that does not help the empty feeling in my womb.

Please do not remind me of all the other blessings in life I have. I am blessed, but I yearn for the blessing that was taken from me. I know I have many other little ones to hold but I miss the one that Jesus is holding for me.

Please do not say, “maybe there was something wrong with the baby.” We were willing to accept this child regardless of what may or may not have been “wrong” with it. The smell of baby skin is the same no matter what the health. When Christians start putting a value on life based on what that quality of life may or may not be, they are no different from people who abort a life because of those same reasons. Jesus said, “let the little children come to me”. He did not put restrictions on that based on what the quality of life of that child is.

Please be wise and gentle with the words you speak to my children. They too had hopes and dreams for this new sibling. My older ones were looking forward to a new baby to snuggle and hold. I realize they are keeping strong for me but underneath they are grieving there own way. I had a little one that was praying to die so they could go to heaven and be with this baby. Please do not say things that will make them pray this more.

If I sound angry with God for allowing my baby to be taken; please do not start preaching God’s goodness and telling me how I need to just accept God’s will. I do accept God’s will and I believe He is as sovereign today as He was last month. Please let me be angry and don’t try to fix what only the Lord can fix. He knows I am but human and He understands that I don’t understand. I am confident that He loves me in spite of my questioning and all the mix of emotions that I’m dealing with.

Please do not rush me in the grieving process. I don’t know how long it will take. His mercies are new every morning and for that I am beyond grateful. Just because we live in a fast paced life, we can not heal in a fast paced way. Healing takes time and sometimes the scars never fade.

Please do not feel the need to try and “fix” things. Again, only the Lord can do that, but offer me a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. I may ramble as I try to make sense of the swirl of thoughts and emotions in my heart and head. Please just listen…and pray.

Multitude Monday

1111. Sleepy heads

1112.  Making Kombucha

1113. Being made new in Christ1114. Snow play

1115.  The way he touches my hair

1116.  Warm sun1117. Dimples and noodles

1118. Dirty windows

1119. Sunny days1120. Faces in the glass

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come! 

2 Corinthians 5:17