Shandie Rhylin

As I sit here typing this I am holding the most perfect little piece of heaven in my arms.

Shandie Rhylin entered our lives, on this side of the womb, in the early morning hours Sunday, December 22. My birth with her was wonderful. Everything that I would have wanted in a homebirth I was able to have at the hospital.

We are all doing well and enjoying every minute of her. Thank you to all who prayed over me and this pregnancy. +

Shandie Rhylin Ney ~ God’s Gift of Joy

Born December 22, 2013 at 3:50 am

8 lbs 15 oz

20 3/4 inches long

41 Weeks Today!

Here I sit at 41 weeks still very much pregnant. I am definitely having quite the lesson in the area patience. I have loved being pregnant but now I am so anxious to hold my baby girl. The Lord knows every detail about her, including her birthday, so I will continue to wait and try to be patient.

Today….

It’s a ….

 

Lot’s of happy, happy, happy here

in Neyville!

+

Our baby

I said from the beginning of this pregnancy that I didn't want a sonogram unless it was truly medically necessary. On our last visit my doctor requested I consider one to rule out placenta previa. (No previa, all is fine :-)) Since we agreed to the scan we decided to go ahead and find out the gender, which is totally out of the norm for us. We wrote down boy or girl and had the tech circle and tape the envelope close. Our baby's gender is in this envelope! <3

As much as I would love to reveal this now I have to wait until I get to talk to Papa and Nana tomorrow.

 

Today…

Today….

I really am still here! Just quiet in blog land as I’ve been working on lots of school prep here as well as other projects that need to be done before school starts. We also got away for a much enjoyed camping trip last weekend.

Hopefully if time permits I’ll be pecking away at the keyboard again soon. 9

Today…

I can’t believe how this pregnancy it moving along so fast! I am trying to savor every minute of it. Today we had our second midwife appointment. She came to our home this time so the kiddos were able to hear the heartbeat too. My little girlies were thrilled! I can’t believe in two weeks I will be able to say we are half way to meeting this little one! +

Today…

Today…

Today…

+ Today I am 15 weeks!  I am loving every minute of this pregnancy and so thankful daily for the gift of life!  +

 

Happy Birthday Poppet!

Eight years ago today, after 3 little boys, we welcomed the sweetest little girl into our family. Her birth was the first birth that I had totally natural and it was amazing!   

I had two miscarriages before we became pregnant with Poppet. Her pregnancy was healing for me. I spent so much time in prayer for her during my pregnancy. I labored at home for 14 hours before we went to the hospital where I had her 20 minutes later. Even though she was baby number 7 this was the first pregnancy and birth that I was informed on the dangers of vaccines and many other hospital “routines”.  We said to no to everything and signed every waiver there was to offer! 

My baby moon with Poppet was incredible! There were so many firsts with her…I co slept with her, I nursed on demand and not on a schedule, I mothered from my heart and instincts and not according to any books or other peoples opinions. I felt so free with her and fulfilled. I was more rested with her than any of my other babies!

Today Poppet is a sweet, sensitive little girl who loves to help with her little siblings and loves to help her big siblings. I can’t imagine life without her! She is such a blessing and I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do in her life!

Happy 8th Birthday, Poppet!!

  Poppet ~ 5 months

Poppet ~ 8 years old 

(Birthday lunch date with Daddy and Mama)

What not to say

Before I ever walked the road of miscarriage I would never know how to comfort a friend who had experienced a loss. What do you say? There is no pat answer to that question as we each respond differently to losing a baby, but I can tell you what not to say.

Please do not say, “At least you have _____ other children.”  It doesn’t matter how many other children I have because there is still a hole in my heart from the one I will never be able to hold. If one of my ten children was taken in a car accident would you say, “At least you have nine other children”? Each child is a special blessing and one does not fill the place of another. Baby number 11 was as special to us as baby number 1 was.

Please do not say, “at least you have children, some women do not.” My heart goes out to those who have not had a baby but that does not help the empty feeling in my womb.

Please do not remind me of all the other blessings in life I have. I am blessed, but I yearn for the blessing that was taken from me. I know I have many other little ones to hold but I miss the one that Jesus is holding for me.

Please do not say, “maybe there was something wrong with the baby.” We were willing to accept this child regardless of what may or may not have been “wrong” with it. The smell of baby skin is the same no matter what the health. When Christians start putting a value on life based on what that quality of life may or may not be, they are no different from people who abort a life because of those same reasons. Jesus said, “let the little children come to me”. He did not put restrictions on that based on what the quality of life of that child is.

Please be wise and gentle with the words you speak to my children. They too had hopes and dreams for this new sibling. My older ones were looking forward to a new baby to snuggle and hold. I realize they are keeping strong for me but underneath they are grieving there own way. I had a little one that was praying to die so they could go to heaven and be with this baby. Please do not say things that will make them pray this more.

If I sound angry with God for allowing my baby to be taken; please do not start preaching God’s goodness and telling me how I need to just accept God’s will. I do accept God’s will and I believe He is as sovereign today as He was last month. Please let me be angry and don’t try to fix what only the Lord can fix. He knows I am but human and He understands that I don’t understand. I am confident that He loves me in spite of my questioning and all the mix of emotions that I’m dealing with.

Please do not rush me in the grieving process. I don’t know how long it will take. His mercies are new every morning and for that I am beyond grateful. Just because we live in a fast paced life, we can not heal in a fast paced way. Healing takes time and sometimes the scars never fade.

Please do not feel the need to try and “fix” things. Again, only the Lord can do that, but offer me a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. I may ramble as I try to make sense of the swirl of thoughts and emotions in my heart and head. Please just listen…and pray.

Mercies in Disguise

It was four weeks ago today that I slowly made my way down the stairs, head pounding and weak, listening to the quiet hushed voices of my husband and children as they tried not to wake me. It almost feels like a dream until I see the cradle set up next to my bed. It has become a resting place for dolls belonging to my sweet little girls. I am leaving it there, praying one day it will be filled with a baby, one not made of plastic and fake hair, but soft, warm, and carrying the scent of heaven.

I am slowly seeing the grace that continually flows from the hand of God. It has taken me a while to see that even the loss of a baby can be showered with His grace and His blessings.

I tend to pray for things that will make my life easy. Isn’t that human nature? Why do I think that when trials in this life come that they are meant to break me and bring me down. I spent two weeks crying out to the Lord and begging for Him so save this baby. I did everything in my human power to prevent a miscarriage. While I may never know this side of heaven what happened, I can still see His grace.

I get so attached to this decaying, dying world and then something happens to remind me that this is not my home. He chose not to heal my body, but He will heal my heart. All the nights after I came home from the hospital, feeling empty in my womb, empty in my heart, sleep running from me, I laid there crying to the Lord. Calling on Him. It took an emptiness to beg for His filling. I’ve been the valley of “dry bones”. (Ezekiel 37) I didn’t see this until now. How does life, life in Him, slip away unnoticed? How did I get so wrapped up in this life that I didn’t see, really see my need for a refilling of His breath?

I was bones, with tendons, flesh, and skin, but the breath was weak, faint. I hear the rattling, the rattling of bones coming together. I feel the flesh and skin being made new. He is exchanging that heart of stone for a heart of flesh.

It took losing a baby to see, to feel, to cry to Him. This is a blessing.  He is healing something  much deeper than a body. Was losing my baby a chance for Him to pull me near, and love on me? The chance for me to hear Him again?  Is this ache in my womb the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?  Only He can satisfy!

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

My Hope

It’s late, the house quiet. I’m alone, this is rare and these days I’m glad it is. It keeps my mind busy to have someone around me, with me, all the time. I appreciate the chatter and laughter.

I run my bath and lay long watching the tub slowly fill. I stare at my toes peeking out of the water. As the tub fills, I feel it rising in me, that swelling surge of tears. I fight it as I’ve been fighting for the last two weeks. It was easy in the beginning. My body felt weak, broke, and I hurt a physical pain, pain so bad that it drowned out the emotional pain. My head pounded so loud that no thoughts of my baby could come in.

Sleep evaded me and ran from me every time I laid down. I would toss and turn and pray and beg Him for sleep. The glass of red wine at night that I drank for a week would calm me enough to finally fall asleep. My body was so tired and I would try to sleep and then the dreams would come. I would be bleeding, and it wouldn’t stop and then the baby was gone. Every night the same dreams. Lord, cover these dreams, these dreams that torment! Duane would pray over me every night and the Lord heard his prayers.

My body is now healing but now the emotional is trying to come out. This is harder. I would rather push it down and pray time covers over. I’ve been thru this kind of loss before but that doesn’t help. How do I push past and see something good in this? There is good though. God is always good and He is always on the throne. His plans for my life are perfect, He makes no mistakes.

There will always be a piece of my heart that is with that baby and the four before it. My heart was broken, but God’s heart was broken too. I have been given the privilege of allowing this to shape me more into the image of the Lord and once again lean on Him. As I lay in the tub the radio quietly played. All of a sudden I heard the words…

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

As I step over the sleeping bodies of the sweet visitors on my bedroom floor, and climb into bed and feel the warmth of my honeys body, I will fall asleep tonight and listen to the sweet sound of his snoring while playing this song in my mind. Christ is my hope, my all and all. On Christ, my solid Rock, I will stand. The tears will come. The emotions will fill me, but I have hope and I will wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Neyville Demographics

How big of a house do you have??

This is a question that I am almost always asked after people find out we have 10 children, followed by a string of other questions:

 Boy, you’ve got your hands full, don’t you?
Don’t you know what causes that?
Are those ALL your kids?
But you’re stopping now, right?
Don’t you have a TV?
"Don't you think there's enough people in the world?"
"I could never do that, my (one two whatever) make me totally crazy!" (usually right in front of their children)

Some questions are just ignorant, such as “Don’t you know what causes that?” Um, yeah we do. “Don’t you have a TV?” Yeah, but if you think sex on tv is better then your doing it all wrong! These question seriously don’t even deserve an answer but the questions about finances make sense. 

I can remember only having one child and I met a mom expecting her *gasp* 4th baby! I asked her all sorts of questions about kids sharing rooms, how they afford that many kids, and of course I also wondered why they had that many. 

Here we are 20 years later, after Duane and I decided we only wanted one child, we are the ones getting these questions and comments. God certainly has a sense of humor and I love it!

Our children all share rooms and years ago when we were going to do an addition we were still only going to have two bedrooms for the kids; a girl's dorm and a boy's dorm.  We love the idea of our children sharing rooms! They are creating memories! They whisper, laugh, tell stories, and share secrets together. In the boy's room they also do lots of goofing off together! We feel that sharing a room is cultivating sibling closeness and it also teaches them to be selfless. One day when they are married they will already know what it means to be other centered. (and share closet space!)

We have made what some people consider “sacrifices” financially and maybe they are according to the world, but we are not of this world nor should our mentality towards children be of this world. Anything we may have “sacrificed” financially has been given back to us ten fold in the joy and happiness of having a large family. We may not drive the newest vehicle (though I don’t think the back seat would be big enough for us!) and may not have the biggest house (less to clean!) but the laughter in these walls is loud, very loud! Every child we have makes our happy all the louder! 

God’s word tells us that children are His greatest blessing and reward. His word also says “I have been young, and [now] am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his children begging for bread.” Psalm 37:25. I am genuinely sad when I talk with people that chose or are choosing to not have more children based on finances. It truly grieves me and I can only imagine how God’s heart feels about this. To most of the people who are passed child bearing age and wanted more they live with such deep regret and it’s to late. My heart hurts for what they missed out on in life.

We are a modest single income family. We have simply made the choice to trust the Lord and His word when it comes to whether or not we have a child. How many people do you know that if they were offered more money, no matter how much they already made, would turn it down and say, “No thanks. We have plenty, we don’t need to be blessed anymore.” I’ve never heard anyone do that but yet our society, including Christians, does this on a regular basis when it comes to children. The pendulum has swung so far from the time when people wanted, desired, and prayed for more children. With that shift society has not improved, but drastically declined. Connection? I’m not sure.

Money is a temporal thing, and yes I know we need it to live in this life, but basing how many children (living souls who will dwell with you for eternity) you will have on money is not scriptural. We are  to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Proverbs 3:5” If the Lord has given you the desire for another child then trust Him and take Him at His word, that He will meet your every need. It may not be up to the standards of this world, but when your happy is extra loud you won’t hear the world’s voices anyway.

Children are a gift from the LORD; 

they are a reward from him. 

Psalm 127:3

Shiro’s announcements

Finally, only 3 months later, I have Shiro’s announcements ready to go.  With each baby it seems it takes longer and longer to get announcements out in a timely manner. Oh well, what can I say, I was just having too much fun enjoying my baby!

Shiro River Ney

We are so excited to welcome

Shiro River Ney

into our family.

He was born on May 11th at 2:08pm.

8lbs. 6oz. and 21 inches long

Shiro means “fourth born son”

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” 
Jeremiah 1:5

To do list before I have the baby

Go thru summer clothes

Redo Poppet and Lolly’s drawers

Write out thank you notes for shower

Put summer bedding on my bed

Finish sewing projects:    Make sling,  Skirts for Poppet and Lolly,    Dresses for girls

Plant garden

Duane finish cradle

Start planning for new school year

Get school order done and turned in

I think I have enough things done on my list to go ahead and have this baby.  I guess baby hasn’t seen the list yet…..thinking I’ll start on my sewing projects tomorrow. LOL

Still prego….-7 days